The Lord of the Ring: The Fellowship of the Leaves

This epic tale took place on Dec 16th - the first and only time we raked our leaves all year! For some reason, Emry woke up early that morning.  She walked into our bedroom and said "Wake up! Wake up! Wake up, sleepies!  We must go, yeees, we must go at once." 

Maren and I gave each other a look like, "WTF is she talking about?"

We dragged ourselves out of bed and had some breakfast.  It was an unusually warm December day, in the low 60s.  We had put off doing the leaves all fall because... 1. doing the leaves blows, 2. the backyard didn't look too bad(our opinion, not the neighbors), and 3. we've been so busy this fall that yardwork was at the bottom of our priority list.

I had been feeling sick the day before, so I wasn't really looking forward to doing the leaves, but we didn't want to waste the beautiful day.  After breakfast, the four of us trudged out into the yard to start.  After about 5 minutes, Whitney started crying and Emry said "She's always hungry.  She always needs to feed.  She must eat.  All she gets is nasty Orcses." 

Again Maren and I were like "WTF?" 

Maren decided to go inside to feed Whit, so Emry and I were stuck doing the leaves by ourselves.  Trying to preserve the earth, we did the leaves using the tarp method again, and stored them in a big pile on top of our garden to be tilled into the soil.  Eventually Maren and Whit came back out to join us...

After giving Emry and Whit a couple of tarp rides, I was wore out.  I think the illness from the day before was catching up to me.  We went back inside to play a little bit before lunch.  When we got inside Emry said to Maren, "Master should be resting, Master needs to keep up his strength."  This time Maren decided to ignore the strange comment.

After playing inside for a little bit we ate lunch and put the girls down for a nap.  While they were napping, we finished the leaves.  I decided to transplant one of the bushes in the landscaping.  When I was packing the dirt around the freshly planted shrub, I felt a dirt clod tumbling around inside my glove.  I took it off, shook out the dirt and finished the project.

Later that afternoon Emry woke up from her nap and played in the living room.  She turned to Maren and I and hissed, "They do not see what lies ahead, when Sun has faded and Moon is dead."

Again Maren and I went into "WTF? mode."  We asked if she was feeling okay, but she just went on playing like everything was normal.

That evening, Maren and I were cutting some vegetables for dinner and Maren asked me "Where's your ring?"  I had remembered taking it off earlier in the day to wash my hands, so I went to look on the  bathroom counter.  To my dismay, the ring wasn't there.  I didn't remember taking it off any other time during the day.

I took a long, slow walk back to the kitchen and told Maren I didn't have any idea where it was.  Emry came running through the kitchen and scowled, "We wants it, we needs it.  Must have the precious.  They stole it from us.  Sneaky little hobbitses.  Wicked, tricksy, false!"  I finally told Emry that she was creeping us out, and asked what she was talking about.  But she just ignored me and hobbled out into the dining room for dinner.

While we were eating I suddenly remembered the dirt clod in my glove earlier that day.  I wondered if maybe my ring had fallen off inside my glove while I was digging?  Maybe my ring was actually the dirt clod that was rattling around inside my glove?!  I told Maren, "I think I know where my ring might be!"

By this time it was already dark outside, so I ran to grab my headlamp and stormed out the door.  On my way out, I saw Maren laughing and shaking her head.  Meanwhile Emry whispered in a raspy voice, "He wants the precious.  Always he is looking for it.  And the precious is wanting to go back to him...But we mustn't let him have it."

I turned on the headlamp and started crawling on the ground.  I went near the area I had shaken out my glove earlier that day.  Of course our next door neighbors had to be backing out of their driveway right at that exact moment.  They stopped their car for a second, probably to try to figure out what I was doing.  About 30 seconds later, our neighbor across the street happened to be taking her trashcans out to the curb and hollered "Are you looking for something?"

"No Captain Obvious, I'm just making sure I didn't miss any leaves today!"...is what I should have said.  But I ignored the stupidity of her question, and told her the story.

I was only about 3 minutes into the search, when I found the ring lying right there in the grass!  I was so excited I sprinted inside to show Maren and the girls.  Maren was sitting on the floor with Whitney and Emry, and I danced a little jig to celebrate.  Emry got up and danced with me, and Maren helped Whitney stand up to dance with us.  Maren grabbed the camera to take a picture of how ridiculous I looked with my headlamp on.

Ever since I found the ring, Emry has been back to her old self again.  No more strange mumblings, talking about 'the precious', or crazy predictions of what lies ahead.  We can only assume that the power of the ring returning to its rightful owner had set everything straight again.  For now, it seems everything is safe in the land of the Smith house.

50 things you need to know(but may not want to know) about running 50 miles, concluded.

We've made it to the home stretch.  Only 10 more to go.  Being so close to the end, I don't want to waste any more energy than necessary, so on with the list...

41.  8 hours and 7 minutes is a long time, and that is exactly how long it took me to complete the race.  If you don't ever plan on running 50 miles, here's a few things you could do in the same amount of time it took me to finish:  1. You could work a standard day at your job.  2. You could watch the entire Back to the Future Trilogy on DVD, then go back and watch the entire first Back to the Future movie again while listening to the director's commentary, and then watch the documentary Back to the Future: Making the Trilogy.  3. You could fly from Detroit, MI to Paris, France.  4. You could watch Psy's Gangnum Style music video on you tube 115 times in a row...feel free to enjoy it while you read the rest of the post.

When I started the list a few months ago, this video was still relevant...

42.  Several people have asked me how I paced myself for this race.  My plan was to run at a casual 8 1/2 to 9 minute per mile pace, and after every 4-5miles to take a 5 minute walking break.  I figured I'd slow down as the race went on, and I wanted to finish below a 10 min/mile pace(8hrs 20minutes total time).  I was well ahead of my pace at the 1/2 way point, and eventually ran into some trouble around mile 30.  After that I did a lot more walking than I'd have liked, but finally recovered and still finished faster than a 10min/mile pace.  Here are my mile split times from the race(according to my Garmin watch)....

Mile      Time   Cumulative Time   Notes
1              8:50                          8:50                                            
2              8:25                       17:15                                                    
3              8:22                       25:37
4              8:41                       34:18
5              8:31                       42:49
6              9:23                       52:12     First walking break
7              8:28                   1:00:40
8              8:28                   1:09:08
9              8:25                   1:17:33
10           8:31                    1:26:04 
11           9:37                    1:35:41     Walking Break                
12           8:26                    1:44:07 
13           8:29                    1:52:36
14           8:29                    2:01:05 
15         11:33                   2:12:38     1st Drop Bag - changed shoes, socks, shirts, saw Maren and the girls
16           8:21                    2:20:59
17           8:15                    2:29:14
18           8:24                    2:37:38
19           8:39                    2:46:17
20           8:15                    2:54:32
21           9:47                    3:04:19     Walking Break                 
22           8:20                    3:12:39
23           8:09                    3:20:48
24           8:11                    3:28:59
25           8:19                    3:37:18
26           9:07                    3:46:25     Walking Break
27        14:58                    4:01:23     2nd Drop Bag - Refueled, stretched, changed socks, re-lubed  
28           8:24                    4:09:47
29           8:26                    4:18:13
30           9:18                    4:27:31
31           8:47                    4:36:18 
32         11:42                   4:48:00     First major cramp - stopped to stretch, also stopped at a water station
33           9:07                    4:57:07
34           9:11                    5:06:18
35         12:52                   5:19:10     Hit with major cramps, walked and stretched a lot
36         10:05                   5:29:15     Mixed waking and running for the next 10 miles
37         10:13                   5:39:28
38         10:26                   5:49:54
39         16:34                   6:06:28     2nd time at my 1st drop bag - hit a major wall after leaving the station
40         10:35                   6:17:03
41         11:27                   6:28:30 
42         14:17                   6:42:47     Stopped at a water station to stretch and talk to volunteers          
43         10:07                   6:52:54
44         12:25                   7:05:19     Struggled with calf cramps over the next 2 miles - walked a lot            
45         12:07                   7:17:26 
46         10:13                   7:27:39
47         11:34                   7:39:13     Stopped at the last water station to stretch and talk to volunteers   
48         10:20                   7:49:33     Finally realized the end was near and ran the rest of the way!
49           9:49                    7:58:22
50           9:00                    8:06:22 


43.  You can't run 50 miles without meeting a lot of interesting people.  I met a lot of people at the ultra, each with an interesting story as to how they got into running and what made them want to try a 50 miler.  They came from all sorts of backgrounds:  men & women, single & married with children, college sophomores & grandparents, bartenders & businessmen, professional distance runners & people like myself who were just out there for the fun of it. 
   I had the pleasure of running with a lot of them and swapping stories and training tips.  I ran with one guy for about 15miles and listened to him talk about growing up as the son of two missionaries in Brazil - less than 1/2 mile from the Amazon River.  He moved to the US to go to college, and now lived in the Chicago area.  Meeting people like this and hearing their stories totally made the experience worth all the time and labor I spent training for it.    

44. Know what time your race starts!  This one seems pretty obvious, but I was running the Honest Abe Trail Marathon as part of a training run.  I wanted to put in 5 miles before the marathon started, but I ended up getting in almost 8 miles because I thought the race started at 7am.  I came jogging into the starting line and noticed there were only a few people standing around.  I quickly found out out the race actually started at 7:30am.  Instead of standing around and getting stiff, I decided to keep running until the race actually began.  It wasn't a big deal that day, but if I learned one thing from this experience it was to double check all the race details!

45.  Take time to consider what you will put in your drop bag(s), and make sure to check it at the correct aid station!.  If your race allows you to have a drop bag, take the time to consider everything you might need during the race.  I packed my favorite snacks, pedialyte, body glide, extra shoes, extra clothes, and my cell phone.  We were allowed two drop bags, one that we would pass twice - at the aid station at mile 14 & 39(on the way back) - and the other bag was at the turnaround point.  At the start of the race they had two places where the runners would check-in their drop bags.  I almost made the fatal mistake of putting my bags in the opposite check points.  This was a big deal because I had twice as much supplies and my extra pair of shoes in the drop bag that I would pass twice.  Luckily, I realized the mistake when I decided to get my phone out of my bag to call Maren one last time before the race.  I quickly switched the bags, and all was good.   

46.  Develop - a - mantra.  Say it - to your - cadence.  Repeat - over - and over.   

47.  Mile 32 is the third hardest mile of 50 mile race, mile 35 is the second toughest, and mile 39 is the worst of all.  There were a couple points during the race when I had some doubts about finishing.  Cramps were hitting me pretty badly and my leg muscles would suddenly lock up.  During this portion of the race I walked a lot.  All the walking provided a lot of time for negative thoughts to enter my mind.  Fortunately, I was able to push through it, and after mile 39, things gradually improved.  I had one other minor setback with cramps in my calves around miles 44-45.  Then I actually felt really good for the last 5 miles or so. 

48.  No motivation is better than hearing your 2 year old cheer "good job daddy!"  I've seen a lot of inspirational things at races, listened to songs to get me "pumped up", repeated different mantra's to keep me going, but nothing compares to hearing the high pitch squeal of delight when your child sees you approaching the finish line!

49. You can't run 50 miles by yourself.  What I mean is that you can't do it without a supportive wife and family.  There were several mornings when I'd be out on the road and our 5 month old would decide to wake up at 4:30am.  Unfortunately that meant Maren had to get up as well.  (With having an infant at home during the bulk of my training, that happened quite a few times!)  When early morning runs weren't an option, I'd be gone running for a couple hours in the afternoon or the evening while she had to take care of the girls.  I told her several times that I would gladly end the training if it was becoming too much of a burden for her.  Maren seldom complained and encouraged me all along the way.  I think the main reason she didn't want me to stop is because she enjoyed making fun of my reflective runner's vest, headlamps, and trips to the store with my jogging stroller.  I couldn't have done it without her support, but I know she was relieved when it was finally over!

50.  It feels so much better to finish a 50 miler than any other race I've done.  I mean this from two perspectives:  First, the actual physical nature of the finish feels better.  I've done marathons, half-marathons, 10k's, 5k's and at the end of each of those I was light headed, out of breath, jelly legged, etc.  I would always try to get the best time possible so I'd sprint the end of the race.  When I finished the ultra, I just coasted into the finish line and took in the fact that I just ran 50 miles(honestly I didn't have any "sprint" left in my system).   The second perspective is the emotional jubilation I felt when crossing the line.  It took a lot of time, training, and effort for me to just finish the race.  I trained hard for previous races as well, but they never felt special to me since there were literally thousands of other people doing the same thing I just did.  Before completing the ultra I've never crossed a finish line and thought "Man, I just did something pretty cool."  But that was the one thought I had when I finished up my 8 hour day on the trail. 

Well there it is...the list is finally complete.  Now you know what to expect should you ever take on the 50 mile challenge.  Is anyone up for it?     

50 things you need to know(but may not want to know) about running 50 miles, Part 4

In order to balance my family life and train for the ultra, I made the decision to get up early in the morning to run - many times I'd be out the door before 4am.  Running at that time of day allowed me to have some pretty funny, random and cool experiences.  If I ever did it all over again, running early in the morning is definitely one thing I would NOT change.  The next 10 on the list are some things I observed and experienced on these early morning runs...

31.  Owls are territorial.  For further explanation, click the link. 

32.  Not all paper boys are created equal.  Some deliver papers a lot later than others.  Some run them up to the door while others throw them from the road.  Some sit in their cars smoking while their tween runs up to deliver the paper.  But my favorite newspaper deliverers by far is the couple who drive the red, rusted out pickup truck.  The lady drives and smokes a cigarette, while her husband sits in a lawnchair in the bed of the truck, smoking a cigarette and chucking papers from his mobile throne as they slowly roll down the street.  In the words of Tenaceous D "That's f--king team work!" 

33.  Some good nights of partying wrap up at 4am.  On an early morning run at Folly Beach I came upon a group of young 20-somethings that looked (and smelled) like they just got through a long night of partying.  They appeared to be on their way down to the beach to watch the sun come up.  One of the dudes peeled off from the group and started jogging with me - while wearing flippy-floppies and carrying a beer in one hand and a bottle of Jack in the other.  I asked him for a pull from his bottle(jokingly of course, but I probably would have taken a hit if he offered it), but he was in too much of a daze to know what was going on.   After about 1/2 a block he thanked me for the run and turned back to rejoin his group.

34.  Some bad nights of partying also wrap up at 4am.  While running near the campus of UE one morning, I came up on two teenage dudes and one of them appeared to be yelling.  Instead of using good judgement and running down a side street to avoid the two, I found myself being drawn to them to see what was going on.  As I got closer I realized that the poor lad wasn't yelling, he was moaning.  As I kept moving toward them I saw he was hunched over and ralphing all over the sidewalk.  His "friend" kept looking around and tried to keep the poor guy walking - I'm sure he didn't want to deal with trying to drag his passed out buddy back to the dorm. 

35.  Only in America do we waste a tons of water(and money) by watering the sidewalk and street in front of our houses.  In my opinion, watering your grass is a waste of water and money in and of itself.  But you wouldn't believe how many homeowners and businesses waste money and resources by having terribly calibrated sprinkler systems.  They spray 1/2 the water onto the sidewalk or road.  If only they were awake early enough to see what an awful job their landscaper did for them. 

36.  4am is the best time to run errands to Wal-mart and the Walgreen's 24hr pharmacy.  There is virtually no one in the stores, so you can get in and out without having to wait in line.  I wear a bright orange reflective vest and a headlamp when I run in the dark, so it looks pretty silly to walk into a store like that.  I bought a pregnancy test one time at the pharmacy and when I checked out I said to the cashier, "I'll bet most people buying stuff like this try to be a little more discrete."  She laughed at me and said "Yeah, you can tell when someone doesn't want to be seen buying one, but this is definitely a first for me!" 

37.  The best place and time for a prayer is outside at 4am in the morning.  It is dark outside, the stars fill the sky, no one else is around, no cars are zooming by and everything is quiet.  It is just you, the Creator and his creation.  Praying(and running) in that environment has gotten me to such a relaxed state that it was almost like a meditation.  Its impossible to describe how your body can be under the stress of running, but yet feel so relaxed and peaceful.  I can't think of any other time during my day when I've felt that close to God.

38.  Sometimes God puts you in a certain place at a certain time for a certain reason.  I'd never dreamed of adding a truck-push workout in the middle of a 14 mi run, but one Saturday morning I did it anyway.  I was running down a pretty busy road and came upon an SUV with its flashers blinking.  I stopped to ask the person if they needed a hand.  It was a teenage girl, who was appeared to be on her way to her job at McDonald's.  She said her truck died and her dad was on his way. (By the way, am I the only person who hates it when someone calls an SUV a "truck"?)  I offered to help push her SUV off the busy road to a gas station down the street.  By the time I got her car pushed there, my legs were completely trashed, but I was glad to help her out.  Having two daughters of my own, I'll bet when her dad arrived on the scene, he was happy to know someone helped her move the car from the road to a safer place. 

39.  You can literally feel the world come alive by going on 4 hour run at 4am.  At the start of your run everything is calm, dark and quiet.  The stars slowly fade away as the sun peeks out from behind the horizon.  You may see a couple of cars pass by - probably delivering newspapers.  As you see the first bit of morning light, the sound of crickets chirping gives way as the birds begin to chime-in.  As the sky continues to get brighter and more color develops around you, some other walkers and runners might cross your path.  Pretty soon you'll notice more and more cars passing you along the road.  Finally the sunshine comes out in full force and you feel the air warming around you.  Just as everyone else is stepping out to start their day, you make your way back home to wrap up your 25mile adventure. 

40. The world comes alive in the morning - except when it is dead.  I was enjoying a run along a harvested bean field one Saturday morning.  I was near the end of my run and it was already light outside.  I saw a hunter and his dog about 120 yards away in the middle of the field.  I didn't pay much attention but figured they were hunting some kind of birds.  Out of nowhere the loudest gunshot I've ever heard rang through my ears.  I saw a bird fall about 50 yards away from me - directly between me and the redneck hunter.  It was apparent why that gunshot was so loud, because the douche dude shot right in my direction.  After realizing what happened, I was pretty shaken up.  I have never ran so fast at the end of a 20+ mile run before.  Given the choice between being attacked by a bird or a hunter, I'll take my chances with the bird every time!

Well, there are only 10 things left to share.  The biggest question people have asked me is, "Why would anyone want to run 50 miles?"  I still don't have a clear answer as to why, but there were a lot of things I learned about life, preparation, running, myself and overcoming obstacles when you think you can't go on.  Damn, I promised myself I wouldn't drop any stupid cliches comparing athletics to life.  Anyway, I won't get too caught up in cliches during the final 10, but will try to share what I learned from the experience, what it took for me to finish the race, and some things this journey taught me.

50 things you need to know(but may not want to know) about running 50 miles, Part 3

We're at number 21 on the list, and if your 21 miles into a run, you'll definitely need to give your body some nutrition to keep it going.  This portion of the list will focus around the things you'll want to know about food and nutrition.  When training for an ultra your relationship with food will surely change, since you must eat so much and so frequently to fuel your body for all your training runs.  Without further ado, the list continues... 

21.  You burn so many calories training for an ultra, that you can literally eat all the time and never feel full.  This is great while you are training, but once it is over, it is really difficult to get your portion control back on track!
 
22.  To keep your body going during 5 hour training runs it is essential that you learn to eat & run.  Pick foods that are easy to carry and easy to swallow.  No need to end a run early because you choked on a handful of jawbreakers.  I like fruit, peanut butter sandwiches, pretzels, trail mix, the occasional energy gel, and energy bites.   

23.  Energy bites are awesome!  When you find a food that works for you, stick with it.  Basically you want something that doesn't upset your stomach, is easy to carry, tastes good, and gives both immediate and sustained energy.  For me, energy bites were the answer.  My favorite flavor had cranberries, coconut, almonds and crushed espresso beans.  Another tip is to add some sea salt to the recipe to help replenish electrolytes.

24.  Interesting fact: you can cook your hand print into a banana.  I discovered this while carrying a banana with me for about 1 1/2 hours.  It was a moderately warm day, and I was running at an easy pace, but my hand must have gotten hot enough that when I finally decided to open the peel I saw that a perfect brown hand print was cooked into the yellow peel.
    
25.  Pedialyte is the best drink I've found.  Its not thirst quenching, it doesn't takes great(too sugary, I actually dilute it with water), but it helps replace electrolytes better than any sports drink I've tried.  I've had several moments during runs where my muscles have been tired, cramped and felt like shutting down.  Before I discovered pedialyte that would mean I was on my way to "hitting the wall."  Even sports drinks didn't seem to replace electrolytes in my system fast enough.  For me, pedialyte is the way to go when my body is feeling depleted.

26.  When you run for hours at a time you get hungry and get really weird cravings.  During the ultra, I had a huge craving for goldfish crackers.  I don't know why it happened, because I never eat them.  All of a sudden they sounded really good.  Luckily one of the aid stations had some, so I gobbled down a handful of them.  When I'd run at 4 in the morning I'd get some really weird cravings.  Sometimes when I'd run at 4 in the morning, I'd run by Shyler's BBQ.  It always smelled so good, and then I'd be craving their chicken-n-sauce for the rest of my run. 

27.  It is essential that you cut down on fiber about 3 days before your race!  I normally try to get a lot of fiber in my diet in the form of fruits, veggies and whole grains.  About 3 days before the ultra, I replaced them with some more starchy forms of carbs like potatoes and pasta.  The first day I basically cut the fiber in half.  The second day I cut out even more.  Then, the day before the race I had virtually no fiber all - just a lot of protein, some fats and starchy carbs.  The reason this is essential is to avoid an upset stomach and the dreaded "runner's trots" that I mentioned in tip #15.
 
28.  Food becomes more like fuel, and less about enjoyment when you are training for a 50 mile race.  You get to the point where you are running so much that you must supply your body with the right fuel to keep it going.  I won't say that food lost its taste, but when I was training I didn't ever plan my meals based on what "sounded good."  Virtually everything I put into my body was to either help it recover from a run, or to store up energy for the next run.

29.  On the day of the 50 mile ultra, here is a list of the things I can remember eating before and during the race:   Before the race I ate a bowl of homemade Greek yogurt with blueberries, chia seeds and steel cut oatmeal.  During the race I consumed 1 1/2 sea salted sweet potatoes(that I made in the hotel room that morning),  15 energy bites, 6 peanut butter sandwich triangles(1 1/2 sandwiches), 2 bananas, a baggie of pretzels, 2 clif shots, 3 Dixie cups of salted nuts, 1 Dixie cup of goldfish crackers, several sports drinks, pedialyte and water with chia seeds mixed in it.  I wonder how many calories I consumed?

30.  Not nearly as many calories as I consumed after the race...from the time I finished the race until a week later, all I did was eat!  After finishing the race, I ate a veggie burger, sun chips, 2 cookies, a Gatorade and lots of water at the post-race lunch provided by the organizers.  As soon as we got back to the hotel room I was still hungry, so I started pounding some trail mix until we decided to leave for dinner.  Maren took me to the Cheesecake Factory for my birthday that night.  I ate a full meal there, then we brought our cheesecake back to the hotel for a cheesecake party!  I also drank a glass of red wine during the "party".  After we put the girls to bed, I snacked on some energy bites before I went to bed.  I woke up in the middle of the night and finished Maren's meal that she brought home from the Cheesecake Factory along with a couple more energy bites.  I continued that type of eating pattern for several days before I finally felt full.  Unfortunately, I didn't eat good stuff, I ate like crap, but I felt that I earned it!

We are finally passed the 1/2 mark.  I've pretty much exhausted all the tips I can give out as far as preparing your body to run a 50 mile ultra.  I've also given you a "heads up" of what to expect if you decide to run one yourselft.  All that remains are some cool experiences I had on my journey and some random things I've learned from them.   

50 things you need to know(but may not want to know) about running 50 miles, Part 2

The next topic you need to know about is the physical aspects of running 50 miles.  Our bodies can do a lot of interesting things, and when you run for 8 straight hours you learn a lot about your body - both what it can and cannot do.  Running an ultra takes a toll on your body, but not always the way you'd expect. 

11.  Surprisingly, training for an ultra will not get you into the best shape of your life.  You'll get really good at running long, slow miles, but that's about it.  Sure, by the end of your training schedule, you'll find that a 5 mile run feels like a jog around the block, but that doesn't make you a physical specimen.  Your endurance will be great, but your overall strength and speed will take a big hit - you might even end up having to ask your wife to open that jar of pickles for you.

12.  When you run at such a slow pace for long periods of time, your muscles aren't the worst thing to get sore - its your joints and tendons.  You'd expect to have pains in your quads, calves and hammys.  But when your running for several hours at a time, the next day you'll feel it in all the joints in your feet, ankles, knees and hips.  Getting out of bed the next day makes you feel like your about 80 years old. 

13. As far as the muscles in your legs go, they get heavy, not sore, but heavy.  Its hard to explain, but my legs weren't really crampy and stiff, like you'd expect after an intense workout.  Its kind of a weird sensation, but they just felt like they were 20 lbs heavier than normal.  The day after long training runs, I usually felt slow and sluggish.   

14.  At some point(or many points) during a 50 mile run, your body will cramp, and your muscles seize up, but you can run through it.  One time, I got an odd cramp in my foot about 10 miles into a long training run once.  I drank some pedialyte and kept going.  Eventually it went away and I ran another 20 miles without a problem. 
     During the ultra I battled several cramps, mainly in my hamstrings and calves, throughout the last 18 miles of the race.  After the 31 mile mark I started cramping badly.  I'd stop to stretch for a couple minutes, then continued on.  I mixed in a lot more walking to give the muscles a break.  Around mile 38, it got to the point where I could only run for a couple strides at a time before I'd cramp up and have to walk.  I'd set tiny goals for myself like "run to the next bend in the trail" or "run to that tree."  Eventually I drank enough fluids and did enough stretching and walking that the cramping spells became fewer and farther between.  Finally around mile 45, I felt a lot better.  I think that knowing the end was near really helped, because I was able to run the last 3 miles of the race without having to stop.

15. When you've gotta go, you've gotta go.  "Do marathoners poop themselves?" was a surprising text message I received from my most sophisticated sister-in-law about a year ago.  She was watching the Chicago marathon at the time, and that's how the question came up.  We continued texting about poo for about 30 minutes(about 29.5 minutes longer than any poo conversation should last).  Likewise, I could dedicate an entire post about this topic, so I'll try to keep it as short as possible.
     An odd phenomena that occurs when you run for several continuous hours is that when your bowels decide its time to empty themselves, they don't give you much warning - at all.  I'd never had this issue before I started training for the ultra, but had witnessed it at a couple of marathons.  I will admit that while I was on some of my long 4am training runs, I suddenly got hit with the "runner's trots."   If I was within a mile or two of the house, I'd try to make it back.  If not, I'd try to find a construction site with a porta-potty.  If it hit me really bad, I'd settle for the nearest ditch or tree I could find!  
     During the ultra I ran with a guy who was having major issues with this.  We met up around mile 18.  He said he'd already shat like 3 times during the race and didn't know if he'd make it to the next aid station with a restroom.  I told him I'd been on training runs before and that I'd just go outside if necessary.  He said he didn't think he could do it outside like that.  When we got to about mile 23 he said he'd need to go again soon.  About 15 steps later, he stopped dead in his tracks and bent forward, clutching his side.  His eyes were squinted and his teeth were clinched tight(his butt cheeks probably clinched even tighter).  I told him to run off the side of the trail and take care of his business.  Thankfully, he swallowed his pride and did the deed.  I was glad because I enjoyed his company, and I didn't want to run with a guy who had poo all over him.

16.  When running 50 miles, blisters are your worst enemy. I found out during my training runs that its really easy to develop a blister when you run for 4 hours at a time.  To remedy the situation, I always wore dri-fit running socks, used body glide on my feet, changed shoes and socks during my long runs(and during the race) and always stopped to "clean out" my shoes if any debris got in.  It may seem counter productive to stop during a run to change shoes or dump out a tiny piece of gravel, but it beats the alternative.  You'd be surprised how quickly a wet sock or small pebble will turn into  a golf ball sized blister. 

This must feel like breastfeeding
minus the joy and bond of
nurturing your child.

17. Body glide is your best friend.  I'm sure we've all seen someone at the end of a marathon or half marathon with bloody nipples.  I've never had trouble with nipple trauma, but have become chafed and blistered on other parts of my body.  A good rule of thumb when running 50 miles is to apply body glide to any part of your body that doesn't tan during the summer.

18.  Your mind starts to shut down before your body does.  This is more mental than physical, but it has to do with the body, so I'm including it on this list.  After running for about 35 miles or so, your mind starts to play tricks on you.  I was battling some cramps and doing a lot of walking, but still making forward progress. The miles were going by much slower at that point, and even with my GPS watch I still kept losing track of what mile I was on.  I started having a bunch of negative thoughts about not finishing the race.  A little voice in the back of my mind, I think its called common sense, kept telling me that I needed to stop.  I really had to focus my mind on simple goals like getting to the next tree or just putting one foot in front of the other.   
     I've read about ultramarathoners who do 100 mile races that hallucinate after hours of running on lack of sleep.  I won't say that I hallucinated, but during that awful stretch around mile 35, I'm pretty sure I saw a black squirrel.  I'd never seen a black squirrel before in my life, so I was really confused.  Maybe it was a skunk, maybe it was a regular brown or grey squirrel, or maybe it never existed, I will never know.  A little while later, I saw a snake on the trail.  I thought it was just a stick, and didn't realize it was a snake until I almost stepped on it!  It scared the heck out of me, and the adrenaline rush woke me up from my daze and kept me sane until the end.

19.  You'll probably lose inventory of some of your body's functions.  No, we're not talking about poo again.  After several hours of running you get so distracted with finishing the race and focusing your mind to overcome major physical issues, that you'll tend to overlook some of the little things.  For me, it was my body temperature. 
     It was still dark outside when I arrived at the race site and it was a cold fall morning(in the 30s).  After I got my race packet and timing chip, I huddled around a campfire with about 20 other runners.  We were shivering, and couldn't wait for the race to begin.  When the gun went off at 7am, the sun had just come up, and it was still cold outside.  I was finally generating some body heat so the temp didn't bother me anymore.  As the day wore on, the sun came up and the temp eventually reached the 50s.  I didn't notice the temperature change until after the race.  I still felt cold even after finished.  I didn't realize it until gave Maren a hug, but I was completely covered in sweat from head to toe.  I didn't ever realize I was getting hot during the race, but apparently my body did. 

20.  Recovering from a 50 mile run takes a long time.  The day of the race and the day after don't feel too much different than recovering from a normal marathon.  However, the 2nd, 3rd, 4th and 5th days after you still feel stiff and sluggish.  I didn't start to feel 'normal' again until about a week and half after the ultra.  Maybe the longer recovery time was due to 50 miles of running or maybe its because I'm in my 30's now - and that's just what happens when you get old!  Another odd phenomena that occurred during my recovery is for about 2 weeks after the race, my toes went numb.  When I arrived home the second night after the race, I realized I didn't have any feeling in my toes.  They had no feeling at all for a couple days, but gradually over the next two weeks they returned back to normal. 

That brings us to 20 things you should know about running a 50 mile race.  Blisters, bowels, chafing, cramping, mental breakdown...who's ready to sign up?  The hard part is out of the way.  Once you learn to cope with the physical stress, you can sit back and enjoy some of the experiences and benefits endurance running provides. 

50 things you need to know(but may not want to know) about running 50 miles, Part 1

Since the journey to running a race always starts with training,  I'll start there.  For me the training is really what running a race is all about.  I'm never competing to win races, so for me the race day is a reward for all the hard work I've done.  Its also the most boring/mundane part to talk about, so I've decided to get these out of the way first.  Without further ado, here are the first 10 things I'd like to share with you about running 50 miles...

1.  Surprisingly, you don't need to train a whole lot more for an ultra than you do for a regular marathon.  My weekday workouts were about the same: rest or cross Train on Mon, 6-8 miles on Tues, 5 miles on Wed, 6-8 miles on Thurs, rest or cross train on Fri.  The difference was I didn't focus too much on speed and pace as much as I did on running efficiently with proper form. 

2.  The key for my training strategy was back to back long runs on the weekends.  For a normal marathon training weekend, I'd do a light run of just a couple miles one day, then do a long 16-22 mile run the other day.  When training for the ultra, my focus was less about pace and more about spending time on my feet - getting used to keeping my legs moving for long periods of time.  My normal weekend runs didn't focus on specific mileage, but more about time: 2 to 2.5 hours on Sat, then 3.5 to 5 hours Sun - which at my training speed was about equivalent to a 1/2 marathon(or longer) on Saturday and a marathon(sometimes a little longer) on Sunday.  Several people asked what was the distance of my longest training run.  The longest continuous run I did was 33 miles. 

3.  To train for a 50 miler you have to strike a balance between family time and training time.  For me that meant getting up to run at 4am or waiting until about 8pm after the girls went to sleep.  I could have run at a more "civilized" time, but I would have felt guilty for cutting out time with my girls.  Plus I would have felt even more guilty for pushing off all the responsibility to Maren of getting the girls ready every morning or putting them to bed at night.  Waking up early didn't really bother me too much, and it provided me with some very interesting insight and experiences...(more to come on that topic in a future post).

4.  The focus on training for an ultra is spending time on your feet and to keep moving on tired legs, so some of my rest days were "active rest days."  By active rest, I mean that I didn't do an actual workout per se, but would find ways to keep my body moving when it was tired. We'd go on family walks, family bike rides, go to a playground to chase Emry, do some stretching or light yoga.  All of these activities allowed me to incorporate Maren and the girls into my training, so they played a big part in helping me prepare for the ultra.

5.  There is a fine line between dedicated and obsessive, and training for a 50 mile ultra will give you plenty of opportunities to toe that line.  When training for an event this big, you feel like every workout is important, and don't want to fall behind.  With the amount of time you have to spend training, you also have to keep everything else in your life in perspective.  When it comes to sticking to your workout schedule or compromising something in your personal life, a decision needs to be made.  It all goes back to keeping the balance.  Another area where this struggle between dedicated and obsessive comes into play is with your overall health.  Again, you don't want to fall behind in your training, so you try not to miss any workouts.  But having been injured before, I knew an injury would set me further back than missing the occasional workout.  I made sure to listen to my body when it was telling me not to do anything at all.  Occasionally, I'd take a day off from one of my weekday workouts if I had a pain that was hurting too bad. 

6.  Even experienced runners will fall from time to time.  I was on one early morning run and my shoe got caught on an uneven piece of concrete next to a curb which sent me sprawled out on the asphalt like Pete Rose doing a headfirst slide into second base.  I was in a particularly good mood that day and despite getting some pretty bad road rash on my palms, elbows and knees, I surprised myself by laughing about it.  As I was laying sprawled out on the ground, I actually thought, "I can make fun of myself by putting this on the blog!"

7.  When training for an ultra its important to gain experience running on the type of surface that your race is run on - for me it was trails.  I made sure to mix in a couple of trail runs and even entered a trail marathon as part of my training.  The biggest thing I learned is that when you're running on a trail, you're always one step away from ending your race.  I saw several runners trip on tree roots, loose rocks, etc.  You really have to watch where you step or you could easily end up with a sprained ankle - or worse. 

8.  Doubling your pleasure.  With work, family, etc you sometimes struggle to find a time to run 8 straight miles on a weekday.  To remedy the problem, some days I'd do a "double" - go for two runs on the same day.  On weekdays I would sometimes run 3-4 miles in the morning, then squeeze in 4 or 5 miles at the gym during my lunch hour.  With the amount of time your long weekend workouts take, you can't always find 4 or 5 continuous hours in a day to dedicate to running.  My favorite "double" story came from the last intense weekend of my training schedule.  On Saturday we had yardwork to do in the morning then a birthday in the afternoon.  I had to wait until we got home from the party and put the girls to bed before I could do my (16mi) workout that day.  On Sunday we were volunteering at our church all day(8am-6pm), so I had to split up my 5 hour training run that day.  I woke up at 4am Sunday morning and ran the first half of my workout (17mi), volunteered at church all day, came home for a quick dinner, helped put the girls to bed and finished off my Sunday workout with 16 more miles that night.  Altogether I ended up running 49 miles in 26 hour period.

9.  Training for an ultra is a lot more boring than training for a marathon.  This is the first time I've trained for an event with my sole goal being:  just finish.  Therefore I didn't have a lot of variation in my workouts.  My training goals were basically to:  1. Spend time on my feet and 2. Log the mileage necessary for me to know I could finish the race.  Every other marathon or 1/2 marathon I've done I had a goal to finish under a certain time.  So I'd do a lot of interval training, speed workouts and tempo runs to improve my speed and focus on my pace.  Although the workouts for the ultra weren't exciting, they did give me a lot of time to think and to appreciate each run.     

10.  When I did mix in other workouts I typically did hill workouts.  I did do some interval training and tempo runs occasionally, but if I really wanted to give my legs a test, I'd head for the hills.  We have one hill near our house and it is a long, steep incline about .4 of a mile long.  I would run hard up one side and continue the intensity down the other.  When I got to the bottom, I'd run on the flat ground for a couple minutes until my heart rate slowed down.  Then I'd turn around and do it all over again.  The constant uphill and downhill running trashed my quads and recruited different muscles that running on flat ground didn't.  The hill workouts really helped my confidence in running on tired legs.

Unless you are really into running or just curious about what goes into training for an ultra, then I'm sure this first list was pretty boring to read(as promised.)  I know, it seems like it was painful to get through these 10, and there are still 40 more tips, stories and things you should know about running 50 miles to come.  It may seem daunting, but just be glad its only 40 things you have to read and not 40 more miles you have to run!  I promise the list gets a lot more interesting from here.    

From 0 to 50 in 9.67 Months

On January 1st of this year I stepped out of the house to run for the first time in 3 months. I had been sidelined with back pains and took some time off to recover. That first "run" was a quarter mile jog around the block. I repeated that "workout" two more times during the week, then went "all out" for a 1/2 mile jog on the weekend. 

If you had asked me at that moment if I thought I would be running a 50 mile ultra before the end of the year, I would have asked you to pass whatever it was you were smoking(to alleviate my back pain). But that's just want I did...in a little over 9 months I went from running 1/4 mile jogs around my block to a 50 mile race on the Des Plaines River Trail.

I couldn't have finished it without my support crew.  Surprisingly
my legs felt good enough to squat down for the photo!

So how(and why) did I decide to do a 50 miler? I mentioned before how I wanted to do some different events this year rather than standard road races. I was thinking of trying to find an event to do around my 30th birthday to commemorate the occasion.

One of my friends, who is a personal trainer, invented what he calls the "birthday workout." The birthday workout is simple: Whatever age you are turning, you have to do that many reps of each exercise. My original thought was to take that concept and map out a 30 mile route to run on my birthdays.  Later on, I decided since I was going to put in a bunch of time training that I might as well find an organized event.

I searched the internet to find a 30 mile ultra around my birthday. My research revealed that 50 mile races were a lot more common than 30 milers, so I decided "If I'm going to run 30, I might as well do 50!" It seemed logical at the time, but now that I'm typing it, I realize how stupid it sounds.  I finally found the perfect race:  it fell on my 30th birthday, was withing a day's drive of home, and was run 100% on a scenic trail.

I began training for it and signed up.  The day of the race finally came and I completed the full 50 miles. There were many struggles along the way(which I will discuss in upcoming posts), but I firmly believe that I would not have made it without changing the way I run.

As it turns out, injuring my back last fall turned out to be a blessing in disguise.  Since I was starting from scratch in January, I began running in minimalist style running shoes and completely revamped my running form.  I changed from a long, bounding stride to a short, light stride.  I changed the way my foot hits the ground as well, going from a heel strike to a midstep foot strike.

Since I was being cautious with my back and running short distances in January, the new running style didn't give me too many pains and discomforts.  I had tried using minimalist running shoes once before and gave up, because I was getting a lot of pain in my feet and ankles.  I had tried to run too fast and too far.  But this time around, my back issues kept me from being tempted to make the same mistake.  Gradually, as the year progressed, I was able to increase my mileage and get back into my normal running routine.

My new running style was much more efficient than how I ran before.  It was a lot more natural motion and didn't take as big of a toll on my joints as my old way of running.  Therefore, I was able to run for long periods of time without getting as many aches and pains in my feet, knees and hips.

If there is one thing I could take something away from the whole experience, it is that God seems to have a way of making good things happen even when it seems like we're in a bad situation.  I've found that He has done many times in my life, and this was just another example. 

Several people have asked questions about how I trained, how long did the race take, what I ate, how did I go to the bathroom, how did I feel afterward, how does it compare to a marathon, etc. I'll answer those questions and more in a series of posts I'm calling "50 things you need to know(but may not want to know) about running 50 miles."  I'll share many stories, experiences and tips I picked up along the journey from mile 1 of my first training run to the final mile of the race.

Energy Bites

I'm always on the lookout for something to eat when I do my long runs. Occasionally I'll eat energy gels or energy bars. My favorite brand of gels/bars is Clif, because in addition to tasting good they are made with organic ingredients. However, most of the time I usually prefer to stick with "real food" such as fruit, trail mixes, peanut butter sandwiches or pretzels.

One day, Maren came across this recipe on Pinterest for something called energy bites. They provide a great pick-me-up when I'm in the middle of a long run. We also like to eat them as a filling snack or for dessert. I like them so much I thought I'd share it here with you.

Feel free to change the "mix-ins" however you like. I tweaked the recipe a little bit to fit my needs for when I'm out running. I like to mix in chopped nuts or chopped up dried fruit. When I ran the Des Plaines 50 mile ultramarathon I added crushed espresso beans to give me a much needed caffeine surge! If you come up with a cool flavor combination, please share it with comment below.

Energy Bites
(makes 18-20 bites)

1 cup oatmeal
1/2 cup peanut butter (or other nut butter)
1/3 honey
1/2 cup ground flaxseed
1 tsp vanilla
Mix-ins:
1 cup coconut flakes
1/2 cup mini chocolate chips

Mix everything above in a medium bowl until thoroughly incorporated. Let chill in the fridge for 1/2 an hour. Once chilled, roll into balls and enjoy! Store in an airtight container and keep refrigerated for up to 1 week.


***I like this recipe so much that I also saved it as a permanent page on the blog so in the future you can link to it anytime you want.
    

30 for 30

Surprise!  Thanks to everyone who had a hand in helping Maren throw a surprise party for my 30th birthday.  I was definitely caught off-guard!  While seeing so many friends and family at the party to celebrate my birthday was flattering, the coolest surprise was the packet of letters everyone gave me for my birthday.  During the party, Maren gave me a packet of 30 envelopes tied together with a red ribbon.  She had asked everyone to share a memory or story from the past 30 years that comes to mind when they think about me. 

When we got home from the party I laid down for bed and intended to read one or two of the letters.  I have to say that the responses were amazing!  They were really well written, thoughtful and brought back a lot of great memories.  Some of them were really touching and almost brought me to tears(I had been cutting some onions for a lasagna right before I read them).  Others told some funny stories and made me laugh out loud.  The funniest ones made fun of me for the many stupid things I've done over the years, and had me laughing so hard I almost cried(onions again.)

Many times I would say to myself "this is the last one I'll read tonight."  But it would be so good, that I'd have to pickup another one.  After awhile Maren actually made me go out into the living room to read them so she could fall asleep.  When all was said and done I ended up reading through all the letters before I fell asleep that night.

Since (I ASS-U-ME) most of the people who read this blog are just friends and family, I just wanted use this medium to say thanks so much for all the thoughts and great memories you shared with me for the past 30 years.  You are all great writers!  Next time you can't think of a gift to get someone for a certain occasion, you should simply write them a letter.  Writing a letter adds a personal touch that a material gift cannot grasp.  It was honestly the best gift I received.  Thanks again!

Camping and Cramping

The best part about traveling somewhere to participate in a race is when you can incorporate it into a family event.  This past weekend we went on a family camping trip to Lincoln State Park so that I could participate in the the Honest Abe Trail Marathon.  The trip was awesome, as I got some good training experience, the weather was perfect and the family got to spend a bunch of quality time together in the great outdoors.

We arrived on Saturday and spent the day playing outside on the playground and around the campsite.  We met Grammy, Gramps, Aunt Julie and cousin Christopher.  It was so much fun to watch Emry explore and analyze everything.  She was so excited to be outside that she didn't ever take a nap that day.  Late in the afternoon, we took a hike to the nature center where we met up with my nemesis... 

This is what I looked like before the attack...

This was my reaction, although you can't see the stain on
the back of my pants!

For dinner that night, everyone had the usual camping fare - chili, hot dogs and s'mores.  Normally I'd partake in the same meal, but I didn't want to try to run a marathon with that sitting in my stomach.  I settled for something a little "lighter."  Emry had a great time helping to start the fire and throwing sticks in it.  She also dug right into the s'mores... 

This is the obligatory messy-s'moreface picture

Meanwhile, Whitney just sat back and looked cute in her little hat

After a pretty sleepless night(Whitney did not sleep well in the pack 'n play and she kept everyone up all night. But seeing how much the girls enjoyed the outdoors was totally worth the price of one sleepless night), we woke up to a beautiful late-summer morning.  It was cool, and a thin fog covered the landscape.  I put in a couple of warmup miles by running from our campsite to the starting point for the race.  Right off the bat, I saw three dear off the side of the road, then the route took me took down by the lake.  The sun was just coming up, which illuminated a hazy fog covering the lake, and it made a breathtaking sight.  It was the perfect start to what would be a great day.

This was my first trail marathon, and I'm really glad I did it.  I learned a lot about trail running and it provided some great experience for the trail run I'm doing in October.  The course winded its way along the hiking trails around the entire park.  It was mostly shaded and had beautiful scenery the entire way.  One loop was 14k, and Aunt Julie participated in the 14k as part of her training for the Evansville Half Marathon.  All of the marathoners repeated the same 14k-loop three times, so were allowed to have a "drop bag" at the start/finish area.  We were able to store food/drinks in our drop bag if we wanted something in addition to what was offered at the aid stations. 

Toward the end of the first loop, I developed a cramp in my right foot.  I'd never gotten a cramp there before, and it had me concerned.  Running became more and more difficult, and the cramp started to become painful.  I stopped to stretch it out, which helped a little...but the pain was still persistent.  In my "drop bag" I had a bottle of pedialyte. I'd heard of endurance runners using it as quick way to replenish electrolytes.  When I finished the first loop, I chugged down some pedialyte, ate 1/2 a banana and did some more stretching.  Within half mile, the cramp had vanished!  Pedialyte is my new best friend! 

Getting some advice from my running coach while
refueling at my "drop bag"

About 1/2 way around the second loop, I caught up with a grizzly trail running/ultramarathoning veteran from Alabama named Tom.  Tom looked to be in his late 40's, had long stringy hair, and had a sweet tattoo on his shoulder of a wolf howling at the moon...which told me "this guy was legit."   Tom was training for the JFK 50mi Ultra in November.  His longest training run for the JFK at that point had only been 15mi.  He just happened to see this marathon online, so he entered it on a whim. 

Tom told some really cool stories about his ultramarthoning heyday in the 1980's.  He had run ultramarathon races all over the world, including a multiday race in Czechoslovakia where they ran the equivalent of one marathon a day for 10 straight days!  Tom kept me entertained with his running experiences for several miles and shared some great trail running tips with me.  But before long, I needed to press on to keep up with my goal pace.  I thanked Tom for all his tales and advice, and unfortunately had to scurry on ahead. 

Taking off down the trail for my last loop

Being a trail marathon, there wasn't any crowd to keep the runners motivated.  There were a couple of the runners family members and some volunteers at the aid stations, but that was all.  The lonesome course provided a perfect opportunity to connect with the nature that surrounded me.  While I endured the third loop, I tried to take in all the beauty and the gifts God has given us.  What a wonderful world He gave us to enjoy! 

Posing for some pictures while waiting for dad to finish

Coming around the last turn out of the woods,  I realized that my family made up about 1/2 of the "crowd."  How lucky I am to have such loving people in my life!  It was such a great opportunity to be able to incorporate this race into a fun family weekend.  Who needs a big crowd for motivation when you have this waiting for you at the finish line...

"Run daddy!  Faster!!"

I could have run the whole thing over just to see that sight at the finish again.  Who knows, maybe one day I just might try to do that...

Angry Birds

Before the age of cell phones, social media and the internet, there used to be a saying "The 3 quickest lines of communication are telegraph, telephone and tell-a-Maren."  By now, most of the people who read this blog have already heard the story of how I was attacked by an owl while on an early morning run last week.  I won't bother with all the details of the incident(if you haven't heard the story, contact me and I'll bring you up to speed).  Instead, I will share some helpful advice for anyone who may find themselves in the same situation. 

If you are like me, then the bulk of your knowledge of owls probably comes from 3rd grade science class and cartoons.  This is what I knew about owls prior to the attack: 

1. They live in holes in trees.
2. They usually wear glasses and graduation hats.
3. They hoot
4. They can rotate their heads like the girl from The Excorcist.
5. They are smart and typically make a living as college professors(which explains #2 above).

I figured if I would ever come face to face with an owl, it would be exactly like this commercial which aired on TV when I was a kid...

Needless to say, I was not prepared for an owl attack.  In a statistic I made up for the purpose of this post, a recent study found that 4 out of 5 people will be attacked by an owl during their lifetime.   Odds are this will happen to you or someone you love, so you need to know what to expect when you fall victim to an attack.

First you need to be mentally ready for an attack.  To give you a little insight, the following is a stream of consciousness that pierced through my head immediately after the razor sharp talons...

WTF is that burning sensation?  I've been shot! Run faster.  No blood...I'm ok!  Was that a bat?  I just got bit by a bat!  It really stings.  I need to blog about this.  Will I get rabies? What other diseases do bats carry? When was my last tetanus shot?  How do I sterilize the bite wound?  Damn...I knew I should have seen those Twilight movies.  My head freakin' hurts!

And after being told by some random dude that the culprit was actually an owl...

Thank you Lord for letting that random dude witness the attack.  Did he hear me scream like a little girl?  Oh well, at least it wasn't a bat.  What kinds of diseases do owls carry?  Is bird flu still a threat? My head still freakin' hurts!  Why did it attack me anyway?  I hope I didn't just blow my only chance at getting into Hogwarts.  Use that Hogwarts line on the blog.  That still really stings!  Just gotta get home.
 

The mental toll an owl attack has on you is subtle, but very real.  The morning after the incident, I decided to go for another run.  It was still dark outside, and I will admit that I was a little nervous.  Instead of running east from the house like I normally do, I ran west to avoid the scene of the attack.  The further I got from the house, the more paranoid I was of every little sound I heard.  I thought about the Alfred Hitchcock film The Birds.  When I first watched The Birds during my Film Literature class in high school, I didn't get what was scary about it.  But on the morning following the attack, I fully appreciated Hitchcock's mastery of taking an innocent everyday event, like taking a shower or seeing a flock of birds, and turning it into a terrifying experience. 

The Lord has a sense of humor sometimes.  When I got about a mile away from the house I was so anxious about being attacked again, I almost turned around to go back home.  I don't usually run the path that I was on that morning, and instead of going home I decided to turn the corner and saw this...

Please excuse the low quality photo.  I was obviously running
at the time, it was dark, it was a cell phone camera, blah blah... 

Seeing that big owl on the Hooters sign made me laugh, and I was finally able to relax and enjoy the run.  Had I not been pulled in that direction, I may have turned around and missed out on a great run. 

Now that you know what to expect from the mental aspect of an owl attack, you must also prepare yourself physically.  I had every intention of researching how to prevent future attacks and what you should do if you are attacked.  However, I got so many wonderful suggestions from my friends and family, that research seemed useless.  Here is what I've been told...

• Wear a bike helmet when you run.
• Punch the owl in the face if it attacks.
• Carry an umbrella to poke at it.
• Wear a red hat because owls don't like red.
• Run faster than they can fly.
• Run later in the day when there's light outside.
• Don't run at all.  Terrible Idea

Hopefully I've provided enough information and insight from my experience to prepare you for the next time you go out for a run.  If anyone has more suggestions about how to ward off unwanted bird attacks, please leave a comment! 

Bronze, Silver and Golden Opportunities

At the Smith house, were fully immersed in this year's Olympic Games.  We stayed involved by watching on TV, reading articles and results online, playing our own games at home, and even sampling cuisine from other countries.


We took the opportunity to make it a fun learning experience for Emry.  We normally don't watch much TV, but it has been on every night since the opening ceremonies.  Emry has enjoyed watching cycling, swimming, running, tennis, gymnastics and basketball.  Oddly enough, the two events that she cheers for the most are diving and equestrian.  During the diving events, she would clap her hands and say "yeah" after every dive.  During the equestrian events, she would cheer and say "yeah horsey!" or "horsey jump" each time they would clear a gate.

While watching the gymnastics Emry noticed the strange move gymnasts do at the end of every event where they throw their hands in the air, puff out their chest and stick their butt back.  Maren taught Emry to do that move and say "Ta-Da!"  So now E will do somersaults, stand up and say "ta-da!"

We've eaten a lot of different meals the past couple of weeks too.  To honor the origin of the Olympics, we ordered Greek cuisine from Manna the night of the opening ceremonies.  Its one of our favorite take-out places.  We've also made several new ethnic recipes at home including black bean burritos, sweet & sour chicken, Indian chicken curry, and fish & chips.  Emry has actually eaten all of the different meals, even the curry...



FYI - Turmeric stains everything...Faces, hands and even skillets. 
Even after a good scrubbing, we had some very yellow
pancakes for breakfast the next morning.

While watching the games on TV is pretty fun, everyone knows that playing them is a lot more fun.  In a previous post, I mentioned how our kids might think they live in the 1980's.  Well, when the track and field events started for the Olympics, we dusted off the NES and played World Class Track Meet!

Yes, that is a single tear of joy running down my cheek

Anyone who knows my history with Nintendo knows that this was a big deal to introduce it to the girls. This one event combined my 3 favorite things in the world(in no particular order):
1. Time with my family
2. Running
3. The Nintendo Entertainment System. 

We taught Emry all the tricks to get the Nintendo to work, like blowing the dust out of the game cartridge...

And as you can see, not only do we still have a working Nintendo, but we are proud owners of the Power Pad! 

For anyone who doesn't know(and I feel sorry for those of you who don't), the Power Pad was basically the original Wii.  The Power Glove was another attempt Nintendo made as an "interactive controller."  Although these devices weren't wireless, for kids in the 80's this was pretty cool technology...you can see how cool these kids look in this commercial...

Yeah, we were playing with power!  Usain Bolt has nothing on us!

You heard Emry saying "Jump One!" at the end of that clip.  She was referring to the long jump, which she was pretty good at...

One last thought about the Olympics...I posted the lame commercial for the power pad, but how weird were the Fruit of the Loom commercials that played during every single break??  Who goes to the beach in their boxerbriefs to workout on the on rings??

Emry thought those commercials were so funny that we decided to make our own...

 

We hope everyone enjoyed the 2012 Olympics as much as the Smith's did!