Some more things I've learned about fatherhood(6 months to 1 year). Plus a Father's Day Special: Things I've learned since having 2 kids

Its time for me to add to the list of things I've learned about children, raising kids, life with a family and other things I've discovered since becoming a father.  Since our niece turned 6 months old recently, I wanted to give a heads up for her parents to know what to expect in the upcoming months.  I'll revisit a couple of previous comments from my first list and second list, but this mainly tackles the topics I learned from when Emry was between 6 months and a year old.

Helping with the laundry!

1. Long gone are the days when you can set your child on the floor in one room and walk into another room to do something for a few minutes.  Can anyone explain to me why lamp cords are so fascinating?

2. A tip I learned was to turn our toilet paper rolls around so that the paper is dispensed from the backside instead of coming over the front.  So when your kid walks up and spins the roll, it just rolls up...if you have it turned the other way you end up with a pile of tp on the floor.  But his will only buy you a couple of months...eventually they figure out how to grab the tp from the back and pull it down. 

3. Reflecting back on our expenses for the year...having a kid is the most expensive tax break we've ever received.

4. Kids are like drunks (revisited) - they stagger and stumble all over the place, and require you to help them walk around.

"Mom! Are you really letting
him do this to me?"

5. We've already established that other driver's seem like Mario Andretti when you first drive with your baby in the car, but the first time you put your kid in a child's bike seat every driver on the road turns into Ricky Bobby.

6. When kids start eating real food, their poop gets real -- I'm talking really real. 

7. Which bring me to my next observation, when a kid eats a blue crayon, they'll have a blue turd.  I've got the picture on my phone to prove it...and no I won't post it...this isn't some sicko fetish website...I can't believe you even asked...disgusting.

8. You know you've arrived as a father the first time you carry your sleeping kid from the car, to the house, to the crib and she remains sleeping the entire time.

9. Babies' sneezes come in two's, three's, or more.  Bottom line...don't try to kiss you're baby after the first sneeze, or you'll end up with a face full of sneezy-spray.

Doing some P90 yoga!

10. Balancing your work, personal time and family time is an art.  I found that an attention-seeking 6 month old makes a great weight for P90x.  Its like combining the shake weight with P90x...talk about muscle confusion!

11. Why is your baby crying now?(revisited) During this age its likely because she fell over or bumped her head on something.  But assuming she's not injured, she's probably frustrated.  She wants to scoot, crawl, walk or reach for something but can't quite do it.  I found if you help her get the items she wants you'll be good to go!

12. The only difference between infant toothpaste and toddler toothpaste are the words "toddler" and "infant" on the package.  They have the exact same amount of each active ingredient.  Companies that make baby products have no shame when it comes trying to get you to spend your money.  Pee-pee tee-pees?  Really??  Its called a wash cloth! Diaper Genie?? Its called a trash can!

13. Aquaphor is to personal/medical care what duct tape is to home repair...they both will fix about 90% of your small issues.  Diaper rash, cuts, dry skin, scraped knees, eczema, chapped lips, tattoo scars, etc.  We literally(figuratively) use it for everything...I started rubbing it on my lower back and the pain is gone! If you've ever seen My Big Fat Greek Wedding, you'll understand what I mean when I say Aquaphor is our Windex...

14. I shamefully admit that some parenting tips and advice I've learned from movies, but movies can also ruin the parenting experience.  I used to come home from work everyday, pickup Emry, and say "Do you have a kiss for daddy?"  The problem was I said it with the exact same inflection in my voice as Ferris Bueller in the scene below...and Maren asked me to stop because it creeped her out! 

Bonus:  Things i discovered about fatherhood since having 2 kids

1. With the second child, your wife's the nipples aren't a big topic of conversation - maybe its because the feedings were easier for "us" with #2, but mainly I think people were concerned about other things - "How's Emry adjusting?", "What's it like having two?", etc

Please note the candle stick holders.
They will come into play later...

2. This applies when you just have one child, but I just now realized that if your wife is nursing, the dads will find themselves giving their baby "the finger!"  Until mom starts pumping, if she's not around and the baby starts crying, you have to resort to shoving your finger in her mouth and let her suck away.  Its pretty much the same principle as giving "the finger" to a driver on the road, because you're pretty much saying to your baby "I know your hungry and upset, but screw it, you're just gonna have to wait!"

3. Earlier I mentioned my beef with gimmicky baby products, but with 2 kids I realized that the diaper genie really is magic!  We got a diaper genie as a shower gift with the first child and I thought it was stupid.  When the second came along, we just put a trash can with a lid in the older child's room, but it stinks up the whole room if you don't change the bag after 2-3 days.  Score one for the diaper genie!  

 4. Even if your wife is nursing, when 2 kids are awake at the same time in the middle of the night, you no longer have an excuse for not getting up to help.

5.  Dads are a lot more hands on when there's two kids, so a skill you need to master is doing everything one handed.  To practice, try carrying around a 10lb sack of potatoes and do your normal daily activities like  eating, getting dressed, typing, peeing etc.

Don't stretch out your
legs too far!

6. Which remind me...it is possible to go to the bathroom while carrying a child in the baby bjorn.  I found this out after a long flight and an emergency pit stop at the airport bathroom.

7. Speaking of airports, if you and your spouse fly Southwest Airlines with 2 kids, you should sit in a row with 3 seats.  I found out they only have 4 oxygen masks per row, so the third seat in your row will have to remain empty.  Hello elbow room!

8. You'er a lot more relaxed once you have two kids...one example is the that the 5 second rule turns eventually turns into the 30 second rule.  Then somewhere along the line it becomes the "Is this that blueberry from today?  Wait...oh well...I guess its okay" rule.

9. Throw pillows are not for throwing.  In the middle of the longest night of my life, I was sitting on the couch holding an inconsolable baby.  In my frustration, I threw a "throw pillow" off the couch.  It slid across the wooden dining room floor and hit a candle holder, knocking it to the floor, busting into a hundred pieces, and waking up Emry and Maren.  Yeah...I was in trouble...lesson learned.  

10. Speaking of wood floors, they are highly overrated.  A realtor might spruce up a home listing by saying something like "beautiful, original hardwood floors."  I would read that listing and see "mine field you have to tiptoe across after laying your sleeping baby down for bed."  I have finally figured out the spots where our floor squeaks the loudest, but I feel like I'm playing frogger every night when I have to walk from Whitney's room to the living room.

11. Spray sunscreen is also overrated.  It doesn't work if you spay your hands and rub it on your child's face.  Emry, we're sorry for the facial burn two weeks in a row...I promise we're not trying to make you look like that crazy lady in New Jersey!

12.  2 year olds only refer to themselves in third person...Which probably explains why we are disgusted when celebrities and sports figures think its acceptable to do it.

Thats all I've got right now.  Hope all the dads out there had a Happy Father's Day!

Living in the Projects(part 2)

A little more about life in the projects...in addition to our recent travels and the previously mentioned flower pots, we've also spent a couple weekends preparing and planting the spring vegetables.  All of that has kept us busy, but the most time consuming project has been the swing set we've been building Emry for her second birthday.

Our mindset was "Go big or go home!" The sturdy, custom-built type of swing sets were what wanted, but can you believe those prices?!  After the sticker shock wore off, we decided that we would rather put Emry through college than to buy a custom swing set.  Next, we tried the frugal route and searched endlessly on craigslist to find a good deal on a used one, but every time we found a deal, all we ever heard was "SOLD! SOLD! SOLD!"  Finally, we went to the big box stores, but their "kits" were not as structurally sound as I wanted for the price that they wanted.  So we decided to start from scratch and draw our own plans.

If anyone wants to see the plans we made, just let me know!

Using our blueprint as a guide, we did a rough estimate of how much lumber and hardware we needed and made a "shopping list." After spending almost 3 hours in Lowes one evening, we had all the supplies.  Now all we had to do was put it together.

Proof that I use my safety glasses for things
other than early morning winter runs!

We did did most of the work over two days of Memorial Day weekend.  I made the sides of the tower on Saturday.

Maren, Emry and Whit were a big help!

I applied my tarp technique to clean up my tools each day...just
drug the tarp into the yardbarn at the end of each day!

All we did on Sunday was raise the sides and bolt it together.

Emry had fun climbing the ladder and playing
with dad's power tools

Special thanks to Rob, Steph and Gramps for their
help with raising the sides and the beam

On Monday we did the deck floor, ladder, slide, "A" frame and raised the beam for the swings.

Emry wanted to give an additional  thanks to Gramps
for helping all day Monday as well!

The view from the top is amazing!

That just left a couple finishing touches, like adding the swings and accessories, which I did the following week.

Finally finished!

Now we can hang in the backyard and not have to worry about
Emry running off to the neighbor's house to
play on their swing set!

Emry has had a blast playing on it so far!  For her second birthday, she had all of her friends over to play on her new swing set.  It was the first time since we've had kids that we've had a big party...the good news was the swing set didn't fall down and nothing broke!...the bad news was we had 4 incidents where kids ended up crying, 3 who stumbled and fell down, one bloody nose, and one who threw up at the bottom of the slide.  So all in all, it was a great party! 

Emry and dad enjoying an evening of playing together

Later that evening, after I reviewed our homeowners insurance policy, after reflecting on the day's events, I realized this party was pretty much the same as the parties we threw when we were fresh out of college - people falling over, getting sick, crying etc. 

Now that we've gotten the spring projects finished things have settled down and aren't quite as busy.  We've been spending a lot more time relaxing and hanging in the backyard and are trying to get back into the normal routine of running the Smiths.....That reminds me, with Father's day right around the corner, I've got several more fatherly tips and things I've learned...  

Living in the Projects (Part 1)

Its been a while since I've posted anything, but we've been busy at the Smith house the past several weeks.  We've been doing some traveling, but mainly we've been busy with lots of projects, and it seems like every night when I come home from work there is something around the house that needs to be done.

Since Maren finished this semester of grad school, she's been spending a lot of time on Pinterest.  She had found some great recipes and other ideas she's done around the house.  She also found a great project that we did with the kids recently.  We made some flower pots for both the grandmas for Mother's day.  We spent a Sunday afternoon and a couple of week nights working on it, and the kids had a blast!  Here is what we did...


Supplies:
Clay flower pots
Acrylic paint
Paint brushes
Spray sealant
Potting soil
Flowers of your choice
Tiny hands and feet
Lots of patience and cleanup rags!






First we cleaned the flower pots and painted them white.  Emry did a decent job using a paintbrush, and surprisingly she didn't get too messy!  After two coats of white paint it was time to let them dry....

We put them on these stakes in the yard to let them dry really well.  Then it was time to decorate them...

Emry went first.  We tested hand prints on a piece of paper and found when she dipped her hand in the paint, it was way to saturated and the prints looked sloppy and runny.  It worked much better when we painted her hand with a paintbrush.

Showing off her hand after mom wiped it clean!

By using a brush we could make sure the paint wasn't too thick.  Emry absolutely loved it!  She kept saying "Paint, hand!"  We did have to assist her to make sure she kept her fingers extended and didn't smear it everywhere.

Next it was Whitney's turn.  We could only do her feet because she wouldn't keep her hand open long enough for us to make a good print.  The cold paint on her feet made Whitney jerk her leg back when each time we applied a coat.  But she didn't fuss about it at all, which made the process a lot easier to do!

She didn't fuss or cry at all, what a trooper!

When Emry saw Whitney doing the footprints she said "Whitney foot paint!" She thought it was pretty cool, so she started saying "Emry foot paint!" We had only planned on doing her hands, but we found a couple spots to cram her footprints on there too.  

You can see on the pots to the left and right of the picture
that we had to put Emry's foot diagonally just
to fit it on the small flower pots!

We decided to make butterflies out of Whitney's foot prints, and to get the wings shaped correctly , we had to put her foot prints on the opposite side...so Whit's right foot made the left wing and her left foot made the right wing.  (Don't ask me why I felt the need to explain that, I'm pretty sure you all know what "opposite" means.)

Here is a visual in case you don't understand the concept of opposites,
or my full explanation of what I meant by opposite.

It was fun, but messy.  And Whitney still had paint in between her toes over 2 weeks later! 

Emry kept looking at her hand and saying "messy!"

After the girls did their prints, Maren and I painted the top ring around the pot either pink or green. We used my finger for the body of the butterflies then painted little eyes and antenna on them.  I wanted to paint "Grandma's pot" on the side of them, but Maren wouldn't let me.

After we let them dry for about 48 hours, we took the pots back outside and put them on the stakes again. We used a spray sealant approved for outdoor use to protect the paint from chipping or smearing.  When that was dry, it was finally time to plant the flowers.  Emry had a lot of fun digging around in the dirt.  For some reason she liked pulling the potting soil out of the bag and throwing it in the yard.

Yes, that is a jack-o-lantern jacket, but it was a cool morning
and it fits her right now, so don't judge!

The project it made for a fun couple of days and the grandmas loved their pot. 

The finished product!

They were a big hit with the grandma's!

This is just one of the projects I've been living in lately, I'll tell you about the big one we've been working on for Emry's upcoming birthday really soon...