Lost in Translation

My freshmen year of high school I had a theology teacher who was lecturing our class one day and said "Don't say things that mean other things."  I don't remember the situation that sparked his memorable phrase.  I don't think anybody in our class remembered what made him say it, and the irony was that we weren't sure what he meant when he said it.  So it became an on-going joke amongst our class anytime someone said something that could be mistaken for a sexual innuendo, we would say "Don't say things that mean other things." (This was well before Michael Scott made "That's what she said" a mainstream joke.)

Anyway, I was thinking about this on my run this morning because Emry is talking a lot right now and sometimes its really hard to figure out what she's saying.  A lot of times she'll say something, but mean to say something else.  To help out anyone who is hanging out with Emry, I've put together a list of some of her most commonly mistaken phrases:

Damen - Which means "banana".  plural Damas.  Oddly enough, she can can say banana perfectly if you ask her to say it, and she sings the Raffi song Banana Phone without a problem.  But if she ever asks you for a damen, now you know what she means.

Hers - Her "B," Her room, Her bed...you'd think Emry would be talking about someone else's stuff.  But if she says "hers", she really means "my" or "mine."  Its funny because most parents try to get their kids to stop saying "mine" all the time, and we are desperately encouraging Emry to actually use the word. 

Hold You - Pronouns are a struggle for Emry.  If she ever walks up to you and and says "Hold you" she really means to say "Hold me." Just pick her up and she'll be happy.   

Pump 'n Dump - Not to be confused with the process by which a nursing mother drinks too much alcohol, then has to pump out the tainted breast milk and dump it down the sink.  She really means to say "Pump it Up" which one of her favorite places to play.

Panato - This word is very complex, because she uses this word for both "potato" or "tomato."  But if she also uses it as part of another phrase... 

Panato Slide - Which means "tornado slide."  So if you ever take her to the park and she wants to go down the "panato slide" she wants to go down the slide that twists in a circle.

Whitney Poop Diaper - This can be tricky.  Emry has nighttime diapers she wears that are more absorbent that the daytime variety.  Her nighttime diapers have a picture of Winnie the Pooh on them.  So when she says "Whitney Poop Diaper" she is really trying to say "Winnie the Pooh diaper".  However, if Emry happens to see you changing Whit's diaper, Emry will call the dirty diaper "Whitney poopy diaper."

Lopper - Which means "water."  Just like she does with damen, Emry can correctly say water if you ask her to.  But if she sees or asks for water, she will call it "lopper."  The funny thing about this one is she will call a water bottle by the correct pronunciation, but if you ask whats in it, the answer is "lopper." 

Toottat - Tattoo.  This did not come from daddy, but originated with mommy.  After playing at Pump 'n Dump one day, Emry came home with a temporary tattoo.  She was afraid it would hurt to put it on, so Maren put it on her own leg instead.  Maren explained that it was called a tattoo.  Emry kept pointing to Maren's leg and saying "toottat."  FYI - She calls daddy's tats "picture," "baseball" or "ring." 

Welcome - This has a couple of layers to it, so bear with me...Emry is trying to to say "You're Welcome", but she only says the "welcome" part.  Even though she is trying to say "You're Welcome", what she really means is "Thank you."  We started working with Emry on saying please, thank you and you're welcome.  Emry got the "please" portion down right away, but the rest of it is still a work in process.  So don't be offended if you share your snack with Emry and she says "welcome."

I'm sure there are tons of other phrases and words that I'm forgetting.  These were all I could think of on my run this morning.  I need to be leaving for work, so I'm going to grab a damen and a sip of lopper.  Welcome for reading the blog!